Sometimes change comes that even the most welcoming of change do not want to deal with. And even though time heals all wounds and humiliation, it's sometimes hard to see how you can feel normal again. God's forgiveness is a hard concept to grasp when you need it most. I don't think one can truly understand such a thing. What beauty that we don't have to.
"There's a great deal of trust in the love of God, and a great deal of love in the trust of God." Why is it that we as humans have so much trouble trusting God enough to listen when he speaks? Perhaps it's a lack of trust in ourselves. A fear that we do not have the strength needed. When, if we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that he's never asked anything of us that we could not do. Pride is possibly the thickest wall between man and God.
Just because "nothing is wrong" doesn't mean that anything is right...
...but storms only pass.
"Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that woe and well-being proceed? Why should a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord" - Lamentations 3:38 - 40
I recently realized that I no longer have a place that feels like home. I have allot of fond memories in the Ozarks but I no longer have any family there and most of the people I grew up with(which is not very many) are long gone. The last few times I visited, it was nice but a different place, really. As for here in the flat farmlands, I love my friends and family but geographically it's quite depressing. If it weren't for working on the ridge everyday I might go insane, haha. If i never again have a place that "feels like home" I suppose that would be fine, seeing as I tend to be somewhat restless. Although, there is a part of me that will insist upon living somewhere out away from the noise and clammer and peacefully enjoying time with my Creator, at some point. A nice chunk of my life, perhaps. Sometimes I can't help but picture a place against the mountains but maybe not too far from the prairie. There would be evergreens and plenty of snow. There would be a few warm coffee houses and libraries in which you could talk with some interesting locals or read or pray. There would be loving friends or family...or both, who you spent as much time with as you pleased, helping with daily chores or having supper at one another's house or celebrating holidays. Jam/recording sessions would abound, as well. Haha I truly doubt this place exists, except in a painting over some old lady's fire place or on the book cover of an old pleasant read. It's just as well and that's fine and all but we dreamers tend to do just that...dream! It's not that we build false hope in something that isn't real or distort our expectations of life, we just appreciate dreams turned into reality all the more when someone takes action to do so. I'm done rambling about dreams. The real world is right here and there's too much life to be lived to not live it. But in humility and with wisdom and reservation. It would be easy to overlook so much.
"Man puts an end to darkness, and searches every recess for ore in the darkness and the shadow of death...
...But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of understanding? Man does not know it's value, nor is it found in the land of the living. The deep says, 'It is not in me'; And the sea says, 'It is not with me.' It cannot be purchased for gold, Nor can silver be weighed for it's price." - Job:28
